The Seattle Mariners pulled off a crazy 5-4 win against the Chicago Cubs tonight, but let’s be real, this one felt less like a hard-fought victory and more like an early Christmas gift from the North Siders. This is still baseball, and even the 2026 Mariners can snag a game they absolutely do not deserve.
The Cubs Were Gifting Runs Before Cal Even Stepped Up
Things started out rough, naturally. The Cubs wasted no time, making T-Mobile Park feel like a graveyard. Pete Crow-Armstrong smacked a leadoff home run, Michael Busch ripped a hot-shot line drive for a double, and Alex Bregman pulled a fastball for a two-run dinger. Just like that, it was 3-0 before our boys even got to the plate. After a characteristic lifeless first inning from the M’s offense, the Cubs started their charity work. Their starter, Matthew Boyd, gave up some chances, a batter got on base, and then a walk set the table. And then, our man Cal Raleigh, who’s been chasing fastballs at his forehead lately, got a gift. Boyd left a cookie right at the letters. Cal, swinging a Players Weekend bat painted like a dead fish (because, metaphors, am I right?), absolutely crushed it into the bullpen. Game tied, 3-3. You can’t make this stuff up!
North Siders Keep Giving, M’s Take The Lead
The generosity didn’t stop there. Cole Young and Brendan Donovan teamed up for another run on a pair of singles, giving the M’s a one-run lead. Seriously, the 2026 Mariners have been so demoralizing that getting a one-run lead felt like winning the division to the T-Mobile faithful. What a gift! Chicago’s hitters decided it was their turn to chip in next. When our infield defense tried its best to screw things up with a couple of bad throws in the top of the third, the Cubs’ next batters struck out on three pitches or hit the ball directly to the Mariners’ most reliable infielder, Cole Young. Later, Michael Busch forgot himself, turning a sharp line drive into a hustle double, but then Bregman and Happ very generously let some meatballs sail by, chasing two-strike pitches for a pair of punchouts.
Hancock Dances, Rodden Scores, And We Hold On
With the Cubs’ offense practically tripping over themselves to get into scoring position every inning but the second, their defense decided to gift the Mariners an insurance run in the fifth, just in case Chicago accidentally started scoring again. Multiple Gold Glove winner Nico Hoerner airmailed a throw, letting the light-hitting Brock Rodden get aboard. Then Matthew Boyd balked Rodden to second. And to complete the masterpiece, Pete Crow-Armstrong declined to hustle toward a ball in shallow center, allowing Rodden to score and give the Mariners a 5-3 lead. Shout out to Emerson Hancock, who danced around traffic all night, leaving after 5.2 innings having only given up those three early runs. The M’s held on for the 5-4 win. This was a wild one, but hey, a W is a W in the early season. We’ll take it and look forward to the next game, hoping the bats wake up and we don’t have to rely on charity every time out!
This article was created with AI assistance and published under Seattle On Tap’s editorial standards. See our Editorial Policy.
Originally reported by Lookout Landing.
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