Nikita Hand is still battling nightmares, a horrifying consequence of the sexual assault by UFC star Conor McGregor, for which he was found liable in a late 2024 civil verdict. In her first televised interview since that Dublin hotel incident from 2018, Hand appeared on Ireland’s “Prime Time” Wednesday, laying bare the brutal, lasting impact of the attack and the soul-crushing civil trial process. You gotta hear what she said, because it’s not going away for her, and it shouldn’t for us either.
“I Lost a Part of Who I Am”
Hand didn’t hold back, detailing the terror she still carries. “I’m working on myself, I’m learning how to live with it and I’m being the best [mom] that I can be, but it’s never going to go away,” she told Miriam O’Callaghan. She wakes up screaming sometimes, and thank goodness she has an amazing partner, Gary, to help her through it, but make no mistake, it’s not easy. She even had to pause the interview, emotional, when recounting the attack itself. It started with her feeling “really uncomfortable,” she recalled. Then, when he got “really aggressive” and she was fighting back, an anger flared up. But that fight was ultimately extinguished. “Then I just completely lost myself when he choked me. I lost a part of who I am and she’s still gone to this day.” She emphasized that chilling detail, saying, “When he choked me for the third time, I lost a part of myself. The fight in me gave up and I was just completely gone.” She couldn’t even describe it, calling it “like disassociating away from your own body basically. It was like I was looking down on myself as the attack was happening.” It’s a gut punch, hearing that level of raw pain.
The Long Fight for Justice
This wasn’t an easy path. Hand opted for civil proceedings after Ireland’s Director of Public Prosecutions decided against prosecuting McGregor in 2020. That decision hit her like a ton of bricks. “I was in shock, I was in complete shock,” she said. She felt like she’d done everything right, told the truth, gave her statement, went to the Sexual Assault Treatment Unit, handed over her phone, got the swabs. She did everything correctly and fully expected them to come back and say yes, but they didn’t. She was “absolutely devastated,” and her mental health cratered. She admitted to hitting the drink “pretty bad,” drinking every night to numb the pain, unable to sleep. That was a truly dark time. When the civil trial finally began, she suffered a panic attack just seeing McGregor in person, and she struggled, feeling like she couldn’t continue multiple times. But she did. In November 2024, the jury found in her favor, awarding her nearly €250,000 in damages. McGregor appealed, of course, but a three-judge panel unanimously rejected his appeal on all grounds in July 2025. Then, in December, the Supreme Court shut it down, refusing to hear any further appeal. The legal challenge was finally over, even though McGregor still maintains his innocence and denies any wrongdoing.
This whole ordeal, the fight, the nightmares, it’s a testament to Hand’s resilience. What’s at stake now? Her continued healing, her life with her partner, and being the best mom she can be, day in and day out. It’s an ongoing battle, and frankly, we should all be listening to her voice.
This article was created with AI assistance and published under Seattle On Tap’s editorial standards. See our Editorial Policy.
Originally reported by Yahoo Sports.
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