Jordan Eberle is staying captain, but the big “bold prediction” circling the league right now about our Kraken is that our guy will be lamenting his best-performing years happened when he had to be clean shaven. Seriously, that’s it. Forget power plays or new breakout stars; we’re talking about facial hair and past glories for our fearless leader.
What Even *Is* a Bold Prediction Anymore?
This whole idea of “bold predictions” for every NHL team is usually just fluff, right? Most of ’em are so tame, they might as well be announcing the sky is blue. But some of the predictions floating around for other Pacific Division teams are on a completely different planet compared to what’s been said about the Emerald City’s own. Like, imagine Mike Babcock getting suspended for projecting TikToks on a hot tub screen and then Mark Messier, *Mark Messier*, takes over the Oilers and gives himself the Leadership Award. Or Pete Laviolette getting fired by his seventh franchise, only for Darryl Sutter to come back to the Kings and guide them to a Stanley Cup. That’s wild, right? And then Laviolette somehow ends up with the Sharks? Give me a break.
The Golden Knights and Canucks Are In for a Ride
The Vegas Golden Knights are supposedly praised for always going above and beyond, and they’re gonna put a bunch of guys on LTIR just to acquire Connor Hellebuyck. And get this: they’re also ensuring Bruce Cassidy remains unemployed. Talk about going for it. Then you look north to the Canucks; their performance and attendance are supposedly dwindling so much, they’re rebranding! Their new logo is an orange and black orca whale skating downhill in the shape of a hockey rink. A downhill orca! That’s a *real* prediction, something you can sink your teeth into. Meanwhile, our Kraken’s “bold” take is about a beard. For real? We need to know what Eberle’s gonna *do* on the ice.
So while the rest of the league is dealing with coaches getting fired, legendary players making crazy comebacks, or entire franchises doing bizarre rebrands, the word on the street for our Kraken focuses on Jordan Eberle’s past grooming habits. It’s almost insulting, isn’t it? We know our captain is all about leading on the ice. We’re looking forward to seeing him out there, beard or no beard, making those plays.
This article was created with AI assistance and published under Seattle On Tap’s editorial standards. See our Editorial Policy.
Originally reported by Lighthouse Hockey.
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