Dude, I usually hate to write off any team after just two games, but seriously, the Dolphins are cooked. I’m talking scorched earth. Looking at their schedule, I don’t just think they’re missing the playoffs, I’m not even sure they’re gonna win a single game this year. That 0-17 watch? Yeah, it’s officially on.
The Historic Lows Just Keep Piling Up
If you’re wondering how bad Miami has been, just chew on this: they’re the *only* team that hasn’t held a lead in a game. Forget winning, they haven’t even HELD A LEAD! We’re heading into Week 3, and they haven’t been in the lead for a single second all season. If you can’t hold a lead, you just can’t win. It’s that simple, and that’s how you end up staring down 0-17.
That’s a brutal stat for Dolphins fans, but if you follow the Falcons or Chargers, you can’t even laugh. Your team might be worse, honestly. Atlanta hasn’t run a single play in the red zone all year. Not one! I don’t know what they’re doing in practice, but if they’re working on red zone plays, they can just skip that this week. It’s almost impossible to go the first two weeks without getting into the red zone even once. The Falcons are actually the first team in 18 years to manage that.
Then there are the Chargers. Oh man, the Chargers. They’ve literally set football back a hundred years. They are the second team in NFL history to lose back-to-back home games by double digits against teams that had a sub-.200 win percentage the previous season. The only other team to do that? The 1926 Racine Tornadoes, who played just one more game before folding. Let that sink in. My takeaway? The Chargers are basically one game away from folding their franchise. And honestly, it might be for the best.
So, Who Am I Betting Against This Week?
Did I pick against these train wrecks this week? Absolutely! I’m betting against the Chargers, Falcons, and Dolphins, because how could you not? Every time someone clicks through to check out the full weekly picks from the CBS Sports NFL experts, I get a cool 1.7 cents. But every time I get a pick wrong, I get docked 1.7 cents. So, it all evens out. Let’s just hope I don’t lose too much this week with these picks!
Funnily enough, a game between two winless teams, the Texans (0-2) and the Colts (0-2), is somehow one of my favorite matchups on the schedule. Yeah, okay, maybe it’s my fourth favorite, but that’s still pretty high for two 0-2 squads. The Colts are 0-2, and frankly, I think the NFL scheduling department just hates them. Their first two games have been brutal. This Sunday, 1 p.m. ET on CBS, these two fight for their first win. One of these teams is finally breaking their duck; the other is going to keep digging that early-season hole even deeper. This could be surprisingly good, or just another ugly game from two teams desperate for a W.
This article was created with AI assistance and published under Seattle On Tap’s editorial standards. See our Editorial Policy.
Originally reported by CBS Sports.
Leave a Reply