Five days. That’s all that stands between us and football, Seattle! The Super Bowl LX Champion Seattle Seahawks are storming back onto Lumen Field, set to host the AFC champion New England Patriots on September 9th in what’s going to be a absolutely epic Super Bowl rematch. You can practically taste the gameday electricity already, right?
The Champs Are Ready, But Others? Not So Much.
Across the league, there’s always that fresh blast of hope before Week 1. All 32 teams have cut down to 53 players, everyone’s rested, and coaches are painting visions of playoff glory. And sure, almost every team is healthy and refreshed, which is cool for them. But let’s be real, this ain’t the time for rose-colored glasses. Nope. We’re here to dive deep into the real talk: who’s going to be scrapping for last place in their divisions? It’s time to enjoy some serious “haterade.”
AFC East and North’s Bottom-Dwellers Revealed
Let’s kick this off with some predictions that’ll make some fan bases pretty salty. First up, the **Miami Dolphins** are projected to crash and burn into last place in the AFC East. They finished 2025 at 7-10, good for third in their division, but new head coach Jeff Hafley’s talk of not tanking? Yeah, we’re not buying it. Miami’s got an NFL-record dead salary cap hit of $181.6 million this year after cutting guys like Tua Tagovailoa, Tyreek Hill, and Bradley Chubb, plus trading Jaylen Waddle and Minkah Fitzpatrick. Seriously, they’re clearing the deck so hard for 2027 that almost every free agent they signed got a one-year deal, except for Malik Willis, who got a three-year, $67.5 million contract with $45 million guaranteed. They drafted a league-high 13 players, with a ton of rookies expected to start: first-round guard Kadyn Proctor, first-round cornerback Chris Johnson, second-round linebacker Jacob Rodriguez, third-round Caleb Douglas, and fifth-round safety Michael Taaffe. When former Cowboys rotational receiver Jalen Tolbert’s 1,093 career receiving yards are the most on your roster, you’re absolutely playing for next year.
Then there’s the **Cleveland Browns**, eyeing up last place in the AFC North after already finishing there in 2025 with a 5-12 record. Their Week 1 starter? The “corpse” of Deshaun Watson. This guy blew out his Achilles in 2023, then did it *again* in 2024 while rehabbing the original injury. He’s only played 19 games in four seasons since the Browns gave up three first-round picks for him. In those 19 games, he’s never once thrown for 300-plus yards. And get this: among 42 quarterbacks who threw 550 or more passes between 2022 and 2024, Watson’s 6.0 yards per attempt ranked a dismal 41st. Yikes.
So while some teams are clearly looking ahead to 2027 with dread, our Super Bowl LX Champion Seahawks are locked in, looking straight at September 9th and another run at glory. Get ready, Emerald City, it’s almost time to watch our champs defend their crown!
This article was created with AI assistance and published under Seattle On Tap’s editorial standards. See our Editorial Policy.
Originally reported by CBS Sports.
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